hopeless

I don’t why but i’m obsessed  with buying magazines lately…

it’s a fake world we live in..

lovely grace 31/31

As I were getting ready for Eid I couldn’t help but to have high hopes, and silly thoughts crossed my mind.  I was dressing up in my abaya and shawl thinking I need to look my best just in case. Then my mind would drift to a “no way” mode don’t over do it. Elhemdiallah<3 Everyone looked glamours during Eid time. I saw little girls dress up with the most beautiful dresses and little cute boys looking like little businessmen in their suits. The down fall about this whole gathering around in one place is that almost every girl who is 16 and up is either engaged or married. Luckily/ cursedly i’m one of the very few who still isn’t.I always get these glances from guys trying to get some attention, the only thing I gave them was my back. I was sad for an odd reason.. Sometimes I feel guilty for laughing, with laughter comes fear, thinking why should I be smiling when I’m going to cry it out later. I spend 5 hours walking with the girls with 6 inch hurtful heals. It’s a little piece I had to pay for wearing my long abaya. When I came back home, my ex best friend called me to meet up for Eid.. She’s labeled as my ex friend bestfriend because who betrayed me. Finally got home, got into my pjs, ate some Icecream and had a talk with my lovely sister. This was my Eid… Let me know what you did for yours:)

Eid preparation 30/31

There’s this Eid tradition in every muslim family home where we prepare ourselves for the most joyful time in the year. The best family girl time as I call it is when we make sweets, clean the house, and put henna on. This year was really fun and tomorrow morning we shall gather all the in-laws, daughters, sons, and the rest of the family in my fathers house for kisses and 3dia, then go to the mosque, then to family fun center(lol for the kids and gatherings for all the muslim community as it became!), and then to the restaurant lol the usual! But yeah I have to go to sleep now so I can wake up early morning and iron some things. Night everyone<3

Eid Mubark!! 29/31

Eid Mubrak everyone, May all your dreams on this blessing day may come true. May Allah guide your family into a straight path that will lead them to Jennah. May all the worries, pain, and sadness be washed forever from your chest. May your life brightens with a smile forever.. (I still don’t have Eid for another day but I wanted to wish those are having Eid today have a blessing time)

 

memories 28/31

I was going through my laptop documents to see what I need to throw in the trash. I came across some of hard memories i needed to forget… I really wish I hadn’t opened them. There’s certine things that we are not ready for therefore we shouldn’t meddle with them. Those things that we write for ourselves to remind us of our happy moment or sad time. I have so much of these little notes in my laptop. I think life circles around us. Some days pass through and take us from our true selves. Sometimes we get hurt and sometimes we give up. But as always from every painful memory we need to learn. it’s true we are born to live but life is hard. We can’t always defeat the vile and not every road has a straight line, but only those who are strong are able to walk through it..Here’s some words I have saved from the memory line over some events that occurred in my life.

You know what hurts most? The seconds in the morning where you’ve just woken up, and for those mere precious seconds, you’ve forgotten the reasons you were unhappy; the reasons you were broken. And then it hits you again, like a stab to the heart, and you remember all the reasons you didn’t want to wake up. Yeah, that hurts.

Throughout the year of 2010, I’ve fallen for the most unexpected people. I’ve been lied from the people that cared the most. I’ve lost friends who I thought I never would. I’ve trusted the wrong people. I’ve made mistakes only to make me stronger. I’ve learned so many things this year. 

We ignore the ones who adore us, adore the ones who ignore us. Hurt the ones who love us, and love those who hurt us
promise me you’ll take my hand and be with me forever as long as we can.

Rose 27/31

I felt like doing a photoshoot. It’s sort of cheesy! but hope you guys had a lovely weekend.

 

icecream 26/31

I eat icecream because it sooth the pain away…  it’s not working lately.

sis lovin 25/31

It’s really hot in seattle and I want a little rain soon. I can’t wait for fall to come and winter for snow. I was thinking how 2011 been harder on me than 2010(yet I wished so bad for 2010 to end so I can have a better coming year, so little did I know!). I been told that I may have been deceiving people in my blog about me being innocent little girl. Am sorry if you thought I was and now you know otherwise. I want you guys to take me for who I’m and never for what you want me to be. I might be changing to the better inshallah, but as many things do. It takes time to be better and stronger.

I did another photo-shoot for the Jalabiyat issue. This one had only two Jalabyait ( I think Jalabyait is kawaiti word btw) but it was a fun shoot with the help of my older sister I accomplished more polished look. Here’s a sneak peak of this photo-shoot.

late night feelings 24/31

“I love you” means that I accept you for the person that you are and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I do not expect perfection from you- Just as you do not expect if from me. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst times. It means loving you when you’re in a bad mood or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down- not only when you’re fun to be with. “I love you” means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them- asking in return only that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping that you feel the same way for me.